Tools for the Holidays
We are sold many ideas of what the holidays should look like and may feel disappointed when reality does not match. The holidays may unearth a lot: intergenerational patterning, ambiguous loss, and unattended trauma. Remember to give yourself a lot of gentleness, low-expectations paired with a higher vision, and spaciousness.
Some tools I use to get through the holidays when things feel tough:
I bring my dog if I am going home and take a lot of walks with him
I name my feelings to my designated safe person if they are present
When things are triggered, I take a moment later to attend to my feelings of disappointment, disbelief that adults can still re-enact such maladaptive or problematic patterning, or my feelings of protectiveness
I give myself permission to not respond in a timely manner to texts
I set up in a corner with tea, a blanket, and a distracting tool like a book, my phone (I allow myself to go on my phone as much as I want to tune out activating energy that I can physically remove myself and I am aware of the dissociative nature and just allow myself the coping tool)
I spend a lot of the time with pets
I get out in nature as much as possible
I seek out those who are easier for my spirit to be around and tactfully avoid those who are more challenging for my spirit to tolerate
I no longer spend holidays with family who have caused serious harm to me no matter how disruptive this may be to the larger family system
I try get fresh air, sunlight, and light movement like quick dog walks
I keep my blood sugar balanced by eating higher protein meals
I send compassion and love to those who have faced insurmountable loss, those being held in spaces against their will, those who feel so misunderstood, and those who feel so down and alone on the holidays
I really sit with my inner child and allow her to process cyclical, seasonal, and intergenerational feelings of disappointment etc.
I get as cozy as possible and do not force myself to wear anything uncomfortable and then I get infrared light from the fire place and use hot rice socks when needed
I do not try to make myself to feel any kind of way and just become a deep observer of the concert of life to which none of us have no program
I hope you all have holidays that are filled with more joy, peace, and love than you expected. I hope you feel you have the tools to attend to your inner world this holiday season. If you need a last minute gift, you can purchase an Alljoys gift card here for a session for a loved one. I hope there are many moment feel you ease, love, and joy this holiday season.
